Sunday 16 September 2012

If I Left... Would You Mind?

If i were to leave.. and never been heard of again.. not by anyone.. just, disappeared.. no sign.. no trace.. no explanation.. no reason.. maybe an internet search will tell you why.. maybe a conspiracy theroy that would seem logical.. only the assurance that i was not in jail.. or that i was some fraud.. Just left.. just like that.. Would you mind? Sure, i would have my reason.. i would have a good explanation.. but you wouldn't know.. what that reason was.. as i would have vanished.. into thin air.. you wouldn't know if i was alive.. or what i was doing.. or if i was dead. It happens to us all.. eventually.. sometimes quicker than when we should. maybe.. maybe one day someone will find out.. why. why it happened.. but would they care?.. would they REALLY care?.. i dont think they would. care. at all. ever. As i sit here.. looking at the end. i reach out and touch it. feel the texture of the end. in my fingertips.. deciding.. when.. how.. why?.. who would really miss me?.. would my boy really miss me? would he understand? sure.. he is old enough now.. years gone by he wasn't old enough.. to know.. to understand.. why.. but now he is.. half of the reason i am still here is him.. he wont cry too much.. i know.. he is a strong lad.. it will only be years.. not all his life.. So, i sit here.. looking.. what beauty.. what intricate weapon of destruction.. i fed the cat.. the damn thing will probably eat the rest of me, eventually.. and shit on the bed.. the carpet.. everywhere.. but i will be gone.. so who cares.. who really cares? Would you mind if i left? lets end it now...