The Trouble With Being A Comedian
A few people here have told me that I am "funny" "too funny" "really comical" etc. Ok, just look at my profile, I love Comedy. I have done Stand-up comedy a few times, I am not a Professional not like Billy Connelly or Jack Dee, But I have done stage work with parties and weddings and have a knack of turning a Karaoke Night into a Comedy show.
But thats also my down side. Like most comedians, people just laugh and laugh and laugh and not actually take me seriously at all. Once I start off I am unstoppable most of the time. Yeah I can do jokes and funny stories and point out the obvious human flaws. I can do impressions and imitate accents from most European countries and I do a brilliant North Carolina accent.
So when it comes to getting anywhere with relationships, I am doomed from the start. Unless you prefer a person who can make you laugh until your face is sore.
Its good sides are having plenty of friends and being a very popular person anywhere I go. Its got me into trouble a few times when people just can't take a joke or are trying to be serious about something and I just can't help myself.
I can come across as sarcastic and witty in almost every thing I say. If you don't know me, you could take offense unless you were prior warned. I have been accused of being crazy and insane on most occasions and although it seems bad, I do come across a bit immature also. But in a good sense. Its all in good nature and all in good faith.
Cruel? Well, sometimes it comes out like that. Oh how I love wrong numbers and people asking me stupid questions. Or even slow people who aren't as quick to grasp a comical gesture.
Examples of this was in my local bank. I had to deposit £100 pounds into my account. (for our US counterparts.. thats $200 dollars aprox) well I waited in the queue and saw that this one cashier was having a bad day with some arrogant customers. It just so happens I ended up going to her window. So, I handed over the cash and said... "oh, Watch it lady! The Inks still wet!" Now... most people would have laughed and thought nothing much of it, but I ended up getting a tap on the shoulder by two constables and a brassed off bank manager staring at me. In the end they discovered they weren't forgeries and I was just joking.
Another situation was in a restaurant. I ordered a Coke, no ice... "I am not into Titanic" I said... Confused the waiter asked me "What's Titanic got to do with soft drinks?" Ok, no hope for this guy... "Titanic, you know... ice cubes bashing on my teeth?" He still didn't get it. "Hey sir, your fly is open" I then said. He then dropped the order pad and almost dove under the table. "Oh gee, this guy needs some personality change" I drank up and walked out with my friends laughing so hard the other customers didn't catch what was happening.
So, Not everyone gets comedy. But a few funny ones I have come out with have made me a few good friends in my life. I am particularly good at asking people in the street where the toilet is, with all the acting out of a man so desperate that they can't give a proper set of directions. Or the sitting in the public toilet cubicles, say in a restaurant and well.. making all the noises of a man trying to give birth to a melon. Thats a good one to do if you want to hear laughter all around you. just remember, be loud and make all the exaggerated noises that you can then when you come out, smile and take a bow and look how many people have urinated down their trousers.
I love the confusion comedy, being very quick witted to confuse people, especially when they are taking down a large order or are trying to concentrate on what they are doing. You must anticipate their every response and say what they could say before they say it, like answering them for them... "One coke please" "er..." "Yeah" "er.." "Thanks" "Er.." "One Ninety Eight" and all they managed to say is "er".
Another good one is at a super market check out. When you have done your weekly shopping and you are in the queue, entertain yourself by watching what the check out staff is scanning... then make the noises that relate to that product. Milk... "Moooo" Toilet Roll... "Umph Uuuugh" Ketchup... "Raspppp" Beans.. 'Do a farting sound' etc... its far more interesting than the constant beep from the scanner. Also it entertains the other shoppers... especially the kids... they love it.
Me and super markets are a nightmare, Once I went into Tescos and shopped from other peoples trolleys... Well, they haven't paid for it yet so whats the big deal? Most see the funny side, when I hand it back to them.
Well comedy is for the light hearted. A lot of people can laugh even if they have to try. So there was just a taste of what I am like. Can be embarrassing and can come across as a strange weirdo, but get to know who I am and you will find out that being with me is an experience to never forget.
The trouble with being a comedian? Its all about finding people to keep up with me and to not be afraid to laugh. So, do you want to join a roller coaster fun ride with a comic?
But thats also my down side. Like most comedians, people just laugh and laugh and laugh and not actually take me seriously at all. Once I start off I am unstoppable most of the time. Yeah I can do jokes and funny stories and point out the obvious human flaws. I can do impressions and imitate accents from most European countries and I do a brilliant North Carolina accent.
So when it comes to getting anywhere with relationships, I am doomed from the start. Unless you prefer a person who can make you laugh until your face is sore.
Its good sides are having plenty of friends and being a very popular person anywhere I go. Its got me into trouble a few times when people just can't take a joke or are trying to be serious about something and I just can't help myself.
I can come across as sarcastic and witty in almost every thing I say. If you don't know me, you could take offense unless you were prior warned. I have been accused of being crazy and insane on most occasions and although it seems bad, I do come across a bit immature also. But in a good sense. Its all in good nature and all in good faith.
Cruel? Well, sometimes it comes out like that. Oh how I love wrong numbers and people asking me stupid questions. Or even slow people who aren't as quick to grasp a comical gesture.
Examples of this was in my local bank. I had to deposit £100 pounds into my account. (for our US counterparts.. thats $200 dollars aprox) well I waited in the queue and saw that this one cashier was having a bad day with some arrogant customers. It just so happens I ended up going to her window. So, I handed over the cash and said... "oh, Watch it lady! The Inks still wet!" Now... most people would have laughed and thought nothing much of it, but I ended up getting a tap on the shoulder by two constables and a brassed off bank manager staring at me. In the end they discovered they weren't forgeries and I was just joking.
Another situation was in a restaurant. I ordered a Coke, no ice... "I am not into Titanic" I said... Confused the waiter asked me "What's Titanic got to do with soft drinks?" Ok, no hope for this guy... "Titanic, you know... ice cubes bashing on my teeth?" He still didn't get it. "Hey sir, your fly is open" I then said. He then dropped the order pad and almost dove under the table. "Oh gee, this guy needs some personality change" I drank up and walked out with my friends laughing so hard the other customers didn't catch what was happening.
So, Not everyone gets comedy. But a few funny ones I have come out with have made me a few good friends in my life. I am particularly good at asking people in the street where the toilet is, with all the acting out of a man so desperate that they can't give a proper set of directions. Or the sitting in the public toilet cubicles, say in a restaurant and well.. making all the noises of a man trying to give birth to a melon. Thats a good one to do if you want to hear laughter all around you. just remember, be loud and make all the exaggerated noises that you can then when you come out, smile and take a bow and look how many people have urinated down their trousers.
I love the confusion comedy, being very quick witted to confuse people, especially when they are taking down a large order or are trying to concentrate on what they are doing. You must anticipate their every response and say what they could say before they say it, like answering them for them... "One coke please" "er..." "Yeah" "er.." "Thanks" "Er.." "One Ninety Eight" and all they managed to say is "er".
Another good one is at a super market check out. When you have done your weekly shopping and you are in the queue, entertain yourself by watching what the check out staff is scanning... then make the noises that relate to that product. Milk... "Moooo" Toilet Roll... "Umph Uuuugh" Ketchup... "Raspppp" Beans.. 'Do a farting sound' etc... its far more interesting than the constant beep from the scanner. Also it entertains the other shoppers... especially the kids... they love it.
Me and super markets are a nightmare, Once I went into Tescos and shopped from other peoples trolleys... Well, they haven't paid for it yet so whats the big deal? Most see the funny side, when I hand it back to them.
Well comedy is for the light hearted. A lot of people can laugh even if they have to try. So there was just a taste of what I am like. Can be embarrassing and can come across as a strange weirdo, but get to know who I am and you will find out that being with me is an experience to never forget.
The trouble with being a comedian? Its all about finding people to keep up with me and to not be afraid to laugh. So, do you want to join a roller coaster fun ride with a comic?
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