My Gay Chicken... by a friend.

A Very Good Friend of mine, who is a little on the er... Gay side wrote this once... and i just had to share it with you. I had to cut a few things out and edit it a little myself... too graphic in some places... but it's still funny.

By the way... this is not a real offer... so don't you be telling the RSPCB about me... its a comical sketch... OK?



I have this Gay Chicken... And he is driving me around the bender!

I once discovered that he was gay because he wouldn't have any fun with the female chickens... i am ashamed to call him a Rooster... lets face it, any Rooster who would rather read that top shelf magazine "Any Cock'll Do" deserves to not be called a Rooster...

He is hooked on Chicken Porn movies like "The Chicken Run" and "Watership Down" (I think he has the hots for that Seagull!)

So i scratched my head in confusion... why aren't the chickens laying eggs? what is up with this Rooster?

So i went to the Chicken coop and knocked on the Roosters door.. he shouted back at me that he was washing his feathers! man! the darn cheek!... so i grabbed one of the chickens and placed her on his door step... he opened up the door and quickly brushed her away with his wing, eyes rolled up in his head shooing her away in disgust!

So i decided to get another Rooster in... immediately my old Rooster started wearing his pink wrist bands and leather shorts and putting a quiff in his hair... omg... my Rooster has the hots for my new comer Rooster!

So i needed to do something fast! I took my old rooster out of the pen and placed him in his own apartment the other side of the yard and i got him a book about how to deal with your rooster problems...

He then started making requests! he asked me to get him that Kellogg's Rooster from the cereal packet... But i told him that it wasn't real...

So soon he started getting very bossy and holding his wing to my face... "Talk to the wing coz dis beak ain't wannin ta here ya!" he said..

so i felt guilty... i treated hi to a cinema trip to see "Brookback Rooster" he enjoyed it and then we went to KFC... but with an almost deadly battle with the drive through clerk when i told my Rooster what KFC stood for.. we better go to Mac Donald's instead...

When we were coming home i spotted a blow up chicken for him... and he wouldn't take it unless it wore a red hat on its head... "Well i am only trying to help"

"I'd rather Shave my head and be a Pigeon than have that fake Rooster wannabe in my basket darling!" he said to me...

"Well what other choice do you have?" i said... "Choke yer chicken?" i laughed

"Funny guy!" he screamed at me...

"Look," i said, "All i need you to do is get the chickens laying some eggs and well... i can then make some money"

"Look," he said, "There is only one thing in common between me and Graeme Morton,"

"Whats that?"

"We both suck off other cocks,"

"Ok i get your point," i said beaten again

So weeks went by and i still had this gay chicken... now a gay fashion icon for "Birdseye" and "Rooster Ribber Eat Out Bar" so now its going to be even more difficult to live with him... i get all these phone calls at all hours... Gobbling and screeching for Any cock'll doddle do!

I can't sleep anymore... i get requests for my Rooster to send them pictures of him with a little seasoning!

I saw his photo album on line the other morning.. one had him wearing an egg basket over his mid region... and his feathers had been removed! Rooster Porn! omg!

I saw mpegs with him showering and singing "Leader Of The Pack" and "I Wanna Be Your Rooster"

So... can you see my dilemma? what do i do? Its almost Christmas and i was thinking about eating him... but when i saw him this morning, self basting himself in lubrication and watching Daffy Duck... he looked so cute!

Anyways... does anyone want a Gay Chicken? you can have him for free... as long as you don't mind his singing in the morning and his constant requests for packs of Stuffing

Any takers?