P.C ... Political Correctness...
What ever happened to "Don't cross the road until the Green MAN flashes?"... Sitting at the lights i spotted that the PC Morons of this country changed it to "Person". Just like "Person Hole" covers... What will be next???? ... Police Person!... Oh sorry, forgot... they already got rid of that years ago... It's Police Officer now isn't it.
So, Do we now see Dust Person's collecting our garbage? or Ambulance Person's scraping the next Don Juan off the street?! What about Fire Person's racing around in a ERIF truck... (Why do they need to write it backwards... I know what a freakin' Fire Engine looks like!)
P.C has gone mad in this country... Ok, so, i don't need to tell you that... but it has. Who makes all these stupid changes? Do they sit in an office somewhere and talk about how they can confuse every one.
And that brings me onto Health and Safety... I will come back to Political Correctness later...
H&S... Health and Safety... What a concept.
Remember when you were a kid?... Climbing trees, making mud pies, conkers, bruises, scrapes and scratches... playing with open cuts to your knees... swimming in the Sea... Riding a bike with no helmet... touching electric fences, scout camps, playing games in the playground?
Well... when did you ever need to file a law suit back then?
Today... unless you wrap your kids up in bubble wrap... as long as its British Safety Standard Kite marked... and arm them with a notepad and pen and the direct line to the A&E department... not to mention the six tone audible sounder attack alarm and a First Aid kit (Defibrillator Included) a Day Glow Jacket and ear plugs and maybe pepper spray and enough elastoplast to mummify Tutankhamen... You aren't following safety procedures properly...
Its a wonder that Swine Flu kills people these days, their immunity is so weak, that a Crane fly causes severe hemorrhaging and if a rain drop falls on you, you'll certainly need an Intensive Care Ward.
Oh, and i forgot the snorkel and Adrenaline shots too... hey, bugger it... lets just send our kids out with a SWAT team and Medivac Crew on standby!
Wearing eye goggles for conkers... why? Do the kids really care that deeply about losing a match that they have to hide behind perspex glass?... Remember "Bull Dog"? ... That game where you had to run from one side of the play ground to the other without being caught?... they banned it... for some strange reason.
Then there are other issues... Sign Porn on the highways... Too much information dude! how can i concentrate on my mirror signal maneuver tricks and judgement on the road when all i see are red and white triangles and round signs and rectangle signs and signs for signs and the odd sign saying a sign is coming up so i better read the next sign to tell me when the main sign is arriving. When do i get a chance to talk on my mobile or finish my Gin n Tonic?!
Then, to top it all off... how many times do i need to be told there is a speed camera ahead that really isn't?... Oh, that's right... just to keep me on my wits... yeah i get it!... here is something for you... Speed Cameras don't work!... well.. only for about 50 meters anyway... Once you are passed the white lines you are free!
Remember when you would be driving alone... and a Constable would jump out of the rose bush and zap you with his hand help PS3? Then you'd get a car pull you over 100 meters down the road with a Human being dressed like a penguin and a yellow jacket tell you about how RAF Wing Commanders usually tell Air Traffic Control BEFORE they try and take off?... Remember those Human beings that wear white hats and talk like a walking Traffic Act Manual?
Here is a little secret... they are called Police Officers... and where are they now?.. these elite warriors of the highways?... mmm... maybe they are eating donuts?... maybe they are sleeping at the station?... naaa... They are catching real law abiding citizens... leaving the crime fighting to some pimple faced wet bag college student dressed in a Police Cadet uniform with absolutely no power of arrest.... PCSO's to you... or Police Community Support Officers.
Bag Faced Bull Dogs idea... oo sorry.. Our Illegal, unelected Prime Ministers... idea.... The igit who tells grieving widows and mothers that a son they never knew they had are dead (Misspelled names) with more spelling mistakes that a written letter from Stevie Wonder... and in Felt tip pen.. mmm.. Blue peter was right you know... we would be controlled by a Rolf Harris wannabe with more weight under his eyes than a kangaroo with testicle cancer.
And who thought that he'd make a great Prime Minister anyway? Cherie Blair laid newspaper down on her kitchen floor when ever the Browns came over for dinner. Do you think that Tony Blair used to have a dart board at the ready in his office with Gordon's face on it?
Anyways... Health and Safety... back on track now... So, if it weren't sign porn we'd have to put up with.. it would soon enough be safety devices. "Warning! Warning! This vehicle is reversing! Warning!" ... Do i care? I mean... fine... if you are completely blind and/ or are walking in places where you shouldn't be... then it's perfectly logical. I mean, come on... at 5am plenty of kids and old ladies are walking around in dark alleyways aren't they? As i heard someone say before... It's not as though that 30 tonne truck won't hurt you traveling at 50 mph forward will it?
Then they give Police Officers the good old trusty "Stab Proof Vest"... totally effective against semi automatic rifles firing rounds at 200 meters per second... or the drug fueled lunatic with a machete swinging it around at peoples heads... and there's a thing...
Driving me up the wall...
They have banned the use of mobile phones when you are driving... so what about the Police radios that they talk on when they drive around?... They banned tinted windows on the front windscreen and a 50% only tint on the front side windows for poor vision prevention... what about wearing sunglasses?... They banned smoking in your own car when someone else is in the car that doesn't smoke... er... its my car! I'm driving! MY RULES!... They enforce a 30 mph speed limit in built up areas... so, why do they pull me over for getting to 30 mph faster than everyone else?... i am still doing 30 mph at the end of it.
Ok, can't go on about the Police... they do a wonderful job, unfortunately they are let down by the court's who let the murderers go free and lock up the tax evaders... I mean come on, recently a mother... er supposed "mother" left her four kids (all under 4 years old... the eldest was only 4) home alone whilst she got wasted on drink and drugs for 24 hours... I am sure it was her first ever time... not!... and all she got was a 12 week suspended sentence. So, her baby (i think it was only like 6 months old) was left for 24 hours with no nappy change, hungry, in danger... with a 4 year old trying to feed it... and she only gets a slap on the wrist.... Well... i wonder what would happen if a Paedophile noticed her kids were left home alone on a regular basis? Maybe he'd call Social Services and report it to the Police... i think not!
But that's the thing these days... kids getting kids pregnant and then finding out that its a little more difficult to raise a kid than it is to steal a car. Ok, underage pregnancy's have been going on for years... as long as i have been alive anyways... but now, its known to the general public more and more because the press and government have realized that they are doing it to get money from the state. That's what it boils down to, getting free money from us tax payers. These people who have 14 kids and live in a council house are probably the smartest people alive in this country. Why pass up on a free £1000 plus a week? (or however much they get these days).
Then there was the Euro...
Why would anyone want to give up their nations heritage?... Have you ever seen a French man's face these days? "Uh Une Euro Sil Vous Plait"... it don't even sound French... his face looks like someone shat in his baguette and he can't even tell what change he is giving back... Even the Germans have lost their smile. A single Currency is the worst thing that can ever happen, for one thing only.... fake notes can be made in any country from here to Hungary... and be used anywhere from Hungary to here... so unless Heartbeat is gonna pedal his way to Bulgaria to tell Vladamir that Euro is spelt with a "E"... i think it is going to cause a slight problem with Policing forgeries.... Not only that, if you knock the queens head off the Royal sheets... isn't that like Treason or something?...
Just picture having loads of funny money in your hand and trying to work out how many Pounds that box of Corn Flakes is costing you... Because i can guarantee people will try to find out if Tesco's are hiding any price increase behind some fancy monopoly style toilet paper we'd call the Euro... It would be easy wouldn't it... "Yeah that's 10 Euros please sir" and then you'd get home to your note pad and work out that a box of Tampax just cost you 20 Quid. You'd be very miffed wouldn't you?
Come on, people weren't happy about losing the feet, inches, pounds and ounces for the "Metric" system... let alone that Passport that used to be a symbol of imperialism... the one you could knock out Custom Officials with for a flimsy purple number.... what are we going to do with a new breed of Belgium designer toilet paper?... sorry Euros?
What about the European Number Plates?... all they are missing is a Swastika and the 'SS' Flag at the front. We didn't fight a bloomin war and died in the trenches for some Belgium Van Damme wannbe to tell us what to do... did we? We didn't tell Adolf Von Schicklegruber to go **** for some wetbag muscles from Brussels with his leotard pants and frilly white shirt to tell us what is right or wrong did we? NO!... I thought we won the war?
If anything WE should be in charge of Europe! We should be the rulers of the Anglican Race! We were the Empire once!... Ok, so we were an Empire ruled by an Emperor... then we were a Kingdom ruled by a King... now we are just a country... but we can change that... and to hear a rumor that Tony Blair wants to be President of that European Union... ahhhhh! when is the next one way flight to Columbia!... is it a wonder that the Queen looks very er... unamused?
Global Warming...
Um, when is this supposed to happen?... 20 years time? 100 Years time?... does it matter?... According to the Mayan Calender and all these toffs at Cambridge... were all doomed in 2012 anyways... Ok, so what if that's a load of Cheese Sauce... and we do survive the next Milena... So would Palm trees and hot summers really be bad in England?... ok, think about our kids and their kids and their kids and all that... lets stop Carbon emissions... woopey! Why not turn coal into gold dust whilst we are at it?
Lets put it simply... its a load of wet wind with Phosphate smells. Yeah we have high carbon emissions... that's because we chopped down the trees and the natural air filters are dead or dying in the Amazon. Its nothing to do with us driving more or us heating our homes more.
Ok, i hear you scream "Shut up! you don't know what you are talking about!"
But listen.... 20 years ago... my parents cooked the same amount of meals as i do now, we have the same amount of baths as we did then, we drive the same amount of miles as we did back then, and we have the same amount of light bulbs as we did back then. We watch the same amount of TV as we did back then, and we had more bonfires back than than we do now. 20 years ago, was simply, the same as now... with only a few additions. The weather is more or less the same as it was back then... ok, snow is a rare occasion now, but... from what i remember it was back then as well... i guess... the snow... has turned to rain more now. But simply... in the last 20 years, nothing much has changed really.
You could argue about more cars now than back then, more population, more computers, more this that the other... but back then there was more factories and more mines and more coal power stations... you could say winter is warmer these days, yeah... but summer is cooler! My point is... if you equalize it out... it is no more different now as it was 20 years ago.
The only thing that has changed, is this huge rain Forrest in South America... has disappeared almost... and people are throwing out more junk than we used to... basically... I don't see that in the next 20 years, we are going to be anywhere close to an ice age or "Dessert A La Londonium" I think the most that will happen in the next 100 years is that we in England will get nice weather for once... or at the most... no change will ever happen. Ice ages take a long time to develop... Global warming is more natural than farming... and the Planet naturally moves in cycles over thousands of years and it's just coming around to the start of a thousand years before it "reboots" itself (call it a natural cleansing)... Besides... we are humans... we will cope... we will adapt... we can survive it... so whats the panic about?
Well, its been nice talking to ya all... watch this space for more in the near future... i hope i gained some readers.
Good night all
Signing off.
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