This is a little bit "Tongue in Cheek"... an issue that will no doubt upset some people... But the purpose of it is to outline the stupidity of some people today... You have been warned!
The following is a news paper article or magazine article or whatever it is.... found on an American Internet news feed.
"Life Sized Satanic Doll Serves As Masturbation Toy For America's Youth
When Mrs. Tawny Huxton opened her son Timmy's bedroom door, she was shocked to see his innocent white hiney nestled into the new 7ft Jar Jar Binks doll she had bought him for his birthday. Lately, many Americans have suffered similar incidents. Young children are being seduced by the character of George Lucas' latest Star Wars Movie. Jar Jar's soothing voice, and timid childlike manners, seem to lure young teens into a world of lustful abandon. Unsuspecting parents purchase the popular life-size doll, only to find out later that it is being used by the child as a masturbation toy.
Under the guise of family entertainment, Lucas' "Star Wars" prequel has contaminated America's youth with subliminal sexual innuendo. Pastor Deacon Fred of the Landover Baptist Church commented, "The demonic characteristics of the Jar Jar binks creature become obvious when one pays close attention. His forked tongue, his lapping, his malignant features, are all too noticeable to the Christ centered man." Experts who have examined the life-sized doll that has become the favorite 'toy' of 12-14 year old children, say that the evidence is overwhelming. The doll was created for the sole purpose of masturbation. It has four openings, and three extrusions, making it compatible for male or female pleasure.
Members of The Landover Baptist Church are outraged at the Satanic subtlety in which marketing geniuses have moved this horrific abomination into the homes of America's youth. "One Mother was concerned that her young daughter was not interested in boys," a Pastor noted, "she asked her little girl, 'why don't you talk about the cute boys at school?' Her daughter replied, 'oh momma, nobody I know is cuter than Jar Jar Binks.' The mother was horrified."
Landover Baptist Church finds that the only way to resolve this problem is to ban not only life sized Jar Jar Binks dolls from American homes, but to ban any life sized doll. "Any child that has seen this movie is finding that their natural attraction to members of the opposite sex is being replaced with an attraction to a 7ft devil with elephant feet, a 25 inch tongue, polka dot skin, a fish snout, and two phallic eyes that jut out like hard erotic pokers. For the Love of God! If you've got this devil in your house, remove it as soon as possible!"
Right! for starters... He is NOT a Satan lover, nor is he perverted, nor is he insane, nor is he a weirdo or a freakin Anti Christ.... He is a normal young kid whose hormones are telling him...
"Hey! YEAH YOU!!!! ... oi! Wooohooo! wake up ass hole! i want SEX yes SEEEEXXXXX! Weyy YEEHAWW Baby! Sex you know? that thing i want you to do for meeeeee!"
So, as a deeply traumatized kid... being a part of a family that thinks sex is a mortal sin and the penalty is death by crucifixion... he needs to release some inner tension... mmmm...
The girl next door?... naaa she is a ****** (sorry can't be prejudice against religious beliefs)
The Prostitute in Chapman Street?.... naaa... mom would kill me
The lad at school... naaa the vicar would tear my skin off...
mmmm... so what then?.... ahhhh i have a choice... "The Pillow Case" "The mattress" "The Vacuum Cleaner" "That dirty old sock" "The toilet bowl" or....
BINGO! Ja Ja Binks!!!! .... yeah baby!
OOOO.... must make the mood right... play some Mozart and get a glass of Bourbon... no no NO! ... milk... and then sing "I'm in the mood for looove"
The only person who is guilty here is the mother not knocking on the freakin door!...
Ok, bad enough getting caught masturbating... but... a conniving little stuck up snot nosed mother who can't keep the crime watch brigade at bay on her own sons bedroom... thats bad.
But to top it all off.... telling the Priest and the whole freakin congregation and advertising it on prime time Internet blogs... is a little bit tooooo far! don't ya think?
Ok... she may think that her mother and father went to Bethlehem and by miracle gave birth to her... but HEY R E A L I T Y check here!
You need to have sex to get a baby!... duh! (I thought i was dumb)
What in the hell does she think her son is gonna practise on anyway? Oh sorry forgot... duh... he is supposed to sit at the table with his legs crossed and his eyes rolling about his head thinking of the Bible and what Jesus would have done until his urges pass away in a day or two...
Give me a freakin break lady!
Whats worse... the son shaggin some bird in a park underage, looking up porn on the net, asking strange men in chat rooms for sex... or getting the gal from next door pregnant....
OR
Having a little practise in his own room without you peering in and shouting out hells bells Satan is my child!
Well... that's what i want to tell her about this article anyways.
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